THE LIGHTER SIDE

Italian Family

Submitted to us by Vito Mazza of Leonia, NJ

You know you grew up in an Italian family when...

  • Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
  • You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.
  • You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.
  • You thought everyone's last name ended in a vowel.
  • You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
  • You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
  • You ate your salad after the main course.
  • You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon.
  • You have at least one relative who came over "on the boat."
  • You grew up calling the bathroom the baccausa. And you only had one.
  • You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.
  • You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
  • You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
  • You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday.
  • You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.
  • You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.
  • You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Frankie or Louie.
  • You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.
  • You thought that loud talking was normal.
  • Your house was a home for all the children in the neighborhood.
  • Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.
  • You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father.
  • You know what lemon ice is.

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